Los Angeles After Midnight

Part I

Breathing heavy
cold rain coming
trying to light a cigarette
as if it were the only thing
to save me

headlights come and go
pass by on waves of god
i have been here before
and the message is no less
loud and clear

inhale at the guardrail
los angeles in the distance
coming for me––
a million or more specks of light
departing from the streets below

leaning forward
holding myself steady
exhale years of confusion
the truth has come
i am not the only one
but i might as well be
the only one to . . .

Part II

There is a humming in the air
it comes and it goes
and goes and goes
until almost gone
until lost in the beating
of the rain against my coat

then ultimately she returns
with a new song
suggests we were all wrong
that reason is not for the young
for their realm is fantasy
and conflagration

i have wandered
seemingly aimlessly
a thousand times
on wet nights like this
no umbrella
to protect me
no need for company
no reason
to control me

i thought i would regret everything
i thought for sure i’d repent
but years of uncertainty
have somehow cleansed me of
the need for
final understanding

there is fire that doesn’t burn
and ice that cannot freeze
life that cannot live
and death that never ends

12:33 am
soft lights all a blur before me
closing in surround me
a sacred city
this winged love.