Tuesday morning. Nearing nine. Pencil to paper. Dotting an i. Turning abruptly towards my office window. NYC engulfed in shadow below.
A winged giant has come to weave a tale.
I place my hand upon the glass as if to signal the approaching maiden. 470 miles per hour, coming right for me, then halt. 100 floors up – an atom’s breadth away – resting there upon something unseen, wings forever extended, she beckons a final embrace.
What is happening? Seems time has stopped. Somehow calm. Palm still to pane. The surface cool to my touch. I wonder if the giant on the other side can sense my presence as much as I am able to sense her own. Then a crackling cuts through the silence. The window begins to come apart. Fine white lines spider outward in all directions. A thin glacier looming. Then her voice. A living whisper inside my head. Till Valhalla!
But earlier this morning at Kaffe 1668, I had a cup of coffee with a close friend. She was upset. Though I tried, I could not console her. She works in an office two doors down from me. I wonder if she is there now. I walk over. She sits at her desk perusing a ledger of some kind. A sort of reckoning of our time. She is a mannequin to my being. Her blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. I caress her cheek. I want to hold her. I would like to have comforted her. But my love is alien. Out of place. Out of time.
I walk back to my office. The window now a semi-translucent canvas of stars. I know this is where I must be. I am not afraid. I am at peace. Again I place my hand upon the glass as if to welcome the Valkyr. No fear, I loosen my tie. Breathe in.
A supernova. Exploding all about me. Into me. Through me. Thousands of tiny bits of glass engulf me. Become me. Instantly undo me. I merge with fire. Disintegrate into ash. I make my way upward through twisting writhing metal. I leave both everything and nothing behind. The sky now mine.
The next day. 4000 miles away. There upon a vast tundra. A young golden-haired woman upon an enormous dark horse throws her arms heavenward. Transfixed in this pose. She calls out to a flight of ravens above. Till Valhalla!